Some might think that my lack of posting means I am over it. Others might understand that that will never happen. Still others might get that it is too hard sometimes to scour through the pictures knowing there will never be another selfie, another picture of her and her brother being forced to pretend they like each other, another picture of her for a school project, another first or last day of school picture, another silly picture because seeing her face makes me smile picture… (not that this stops me from looking and hoping)

And yet still some might say, writing about it is helpful and will provide an outlet for the release of all of the things…

I am sure some of them are correct. I will never get over this, it is too hard, and writing about her is helpful and an outlet. So, why did I take a break from adding to the blog?

I don’t know.

Every single night, for the last 1,025 nights, I have gone into Jordyn’s room to say “I love you. Good night, sleep well, and I will see you when you wake up.” Like I did for the 5,038 nights of her life, in some iteration or another. Prior to saying this, giving her a kiss, and turning off her light, I write to her. I write to her about what we did that day, how I feel, what is going on in the world… I tell her about a new song from a band she likes or just how much I miss her and need to hold her face in my hands and watch her squint her nose. This writing and this time with my girl, means so much to me and truthfully, it can be the bright spot in a crummy day.

I am not sure everyone who might read this will understand… and some of you might think I need to see a therapist (and you are probably right).

Jordyn should be gearing up to go back to school in a few short weeks… a JUNIOR. I cannot even believe it. She should be talking about what colleges she wants to take a look at and when she wants to take her ACT. She should be telling me about the CCP class she is signed up for and how excited she is to see her friends again. She also should be talking about what she wants to do for her 1-year remission anniversary. She should be planning our 2022 vacation with me. She should…

Writing doesn’t change anything. I am still forced to try and admit to myself that this is real. I am still forced to watch my son continue to grow into a smart, strong, handsome young man without his big sister. I am still forced to pretend that my heard is able to continue beating without her here. I am still forced to do all of the things, without her. So does it help… when all I want is for the four of us to be together again… not really.

Does it mean I will stop for good? Nope.

Every day is hard. Without you in my life, I cannot seem to find sense in just about anything. My heart aches always and in the last 321 days, I have not gone a single day without crying for you. For the life that we had, the life you had ahead of you, the life that brought me so much joy. It isn’t a record I am proud of but it is nonetheless. I feel like we always made time for our family and that we didn’t let time go. Maybe we could have done more. But the everyday without you is too much to bear. The small things… the mundane. I miss them all.

I think about watching you sleep. I did that your whole life. I miss seeing your stillness. I miss seeing your breathe. I miss seeing you clutch Teddy and I miss your aversion to comforters. I think about you sitting next to me on the couch. I miss you on my hip and I miss the mess you brought with you. You always had to have everything within arms reach - your gel pens, your paper, your books, Teddy, your phone, a blanket, a pillow… I think about you eating all of the jo-jo’s. I miss not getting any and pretending to be upset but really smiling inside that they made you so happy. I think about you cleaning your room. I miss hearing you sing along to your Clean Mix. I miss the excuses about why it took so long. I miss the mad face when you were just tired of it and I miss that reveal face when you were done and so proud of the work you did. I think about our car trips. I miss your face in my mirrors. I miss your laughter and your silence. I miss hearing you sing along to your music and I miss you getting lost in your books. I miss our chats, I miss sharing new music with you, I miss the silliness, and I miss our us time. It might not have always been fun for you, but I miss our time in the car because that was my time with you. I think about when you would cuddle up in our bed to sleep. I miss how you took over everything and I miss … oh Jordyn, I just miss it all.

I cannot understand why you were taken from me and I cannot understand why this happened to you. I just can’t.

I don’t think I will ever understand.

You are amazing and strong and kind and funny and smart and adorable and considerate and creative… and so much more. So why did this happen to you? You wanted to grow up to do something for this world. You had purpose and drive and I know you were going to make a difference. Somehow, someway… So why?

Every day people try to understand. And I know no one does. Even if you’ve lost a child, it wasn’t the same. The circumstances weren’t the same, your relationship wasn’t the same, your loss wasn’t the same. They say I am not alone but I am. Even Dad lost something much different than I did. He will miss out on different things and your absence in our lives means something different to him. I am not a martyr. My pain isn’t worse than someone else’s. It is different. I am alone.

I think people think I should be fine. That I should be fixed… maybe even that I am because I get out of bed every day. I think those people might have lost someone. A friend, a relative, a parent…. They miss their person, but they don’t think about it much anymore so they don’t know why can’t I stop thinking about you. They don’t think about the 13 years, 9 months, and 16 days I had you in my life every single day or the 9 months and 5 days I carried you before I even met you. They don’t think about how I dreamt for you and wished for you and loved the idea of you before that. They don’t think about waking up every day excited to see you and talk to you. They don’t think about our stories and our memories and all of the things we did. They don’t think about how lonely I am without you… my best friend, my baby girl, my oldest child, my heart all wrapped in to the most amazing person I have every come in contact with.

I don’t always know what to do or what to say. I have better days, I have fun sometimes, and I even laugh. It isn’t always fake either. But it isn’t easy. There is a facade that I put on now to get through it. I say things like, I am okay or it’s okay. It might be. It might be all I can think to say.

People I have never met reach out to tell me they are there if I need anything. That they are thinking about us. That they are inspired by the stories we tell of you and the person you are. That they can’t imagine what we are going through. That they hope we find peace someday. They are kind. They mean well. And I may be an asshole for saying it here. They are kind and I wish I could find comfort in thoughts of kindness.

People tell me I am strong. I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t feel strong. I feel like a coward. I am hiding behind so much it is agonizing. I am not strong.

I want to see you, I want to hold your hand, I wan’t to hear your laugh, I even want to smell your stinky feet. I just want to wake up and see you. To hear you quickly getting ready for school in the dark. To hear you rustling in your closet, putting your books in your back pack, brushing your teeth, packing your lunch, clicking in your boots on the hard floor… oh Jay, I just miss you.
I live in a world of what-ifs. What-if I never took you to the doctor… What-if you didn’t get so sick… What-if you could come back to me… What-if you would just be here and all of this would be forgotten… What-if I could see you again… What-if.

Jordyn… you have always been my dream come true. I always wanted a best friend like you and being my daughter made that all the better. I never ever ever thought I would not have you with me until the end. And it is so unfair. My soulmate was supposed to be here with me for all of the things… Jay, you were supposed to be here for all of the things.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.

My darling girl… M

This #flashbackfriday might break me.

This is from Jordyn’s first day of Kindergarten. 9 years ago.

Today, many of her friends are starting their first day at Jackson High School. And she isn’t there with them. It’s supposed to be a BIG day around her. She had been looking forward to this for, well forever. She loved school and I remember we talked about how in HS you had classes you had to take but that you could more tailor your schedule to what you wanted to studyand what your goals were and she was all in, couldn’t wait. She was registered for 3 HS classes last year and was so proud and excited about that...

She deserves to be there with her classmates... feeling nervous and excited. They deserve for her to be there too.

Why?

I just don’t understand the world we live in (I promise you I am not looking for an explanation), a world where she is taken from me. And believe me, I am aware of the “bigger concerns” that make one wonder what the hell is going on in this world, but to me (Jared, Logan, her family and friends...), I wasn’t supposed to have to say goodbye until it was my turn And it isn’t right and it isn’t fair and it isn’t the way this is supposed to be. The emptiness of this loss is just unbearable.

I hope all of her classmates and friends have an amazing year in High School. I do. I just want Jay to be with you in those halls. Making you laugh with her excitement and her silliness and challenging you with her drive and determination. I just want Jay.

We always used to talk about why you play travel ball... why you pay so much in money, in time, in miles on your car... and it was always this... she played because she wanted to play at the top level whenever possible. She played to improve her game. She played for the friends she would meet. She played because she loved the game and for that alone we would have paid much more. And we watched her learn to be confident, to be a leader, to learn that things didn’t always go as planned, that even the most preparation didn’t mean things would work out... she learned to stand up and be there for a teammate good or bad, and she learned that that teammate would be there for her too... there is so much more to this game than hitting a ball.

The smiles this game brought my girl... the hundreds of trips and weekends we spent together as a family and with great friends... the dinners and celebrations... the car ride giggles and riddles and stories and music and snorts and sleep and Starbucks and reading... the lessons and the coaches who believed that she could do whatever she set her mind to and taught her to believe that too... so much more than a game... so much...

It is hard to think of her not taking the field again... not celebrating another win or another great play at third or another great inning in the circle or learning from a tough loss... she may have quit playing the game and that would have been her decision to make - we always told her when it stopped being fun we were done... but that would have been her choice. Not this...

This picture will always represent softball to me... the joy, the friendship, the discussions about what hairstyle we should do and then the resulting mess at the end of a hard fought day on the field, the 33 she loved so much, and the celebration... ♥️

#worldsoftballday #stronglikeJ #33jordynstrong #dosomethingbig#forher​

8 months ago we had a very hopeful day. She was on a ventilator to let her body rest but everything was going well and they were confident in the progress that happened throughout the day. She just needed to get through the night and extra fighters would arrive to fight the infection in the morning.

But 8 months ago we had the worst evening of our entire lives. The worst thing we could ever imagine and the last thing we ever expected happened and our Jordyn was taken from us and everyone... from her life.

Every single day since I find it harder and harder to imagine a life without her even though I am being forced to live it. Almost like this is the nightmare and I just need to wake up and get back to the real reality. Oh if that is the case please let me wake up... please.

My baby girl... how is this... I just don’t know how we got here and I don’t know how to go anywhere without her. Her absence and her empty seat and her empty room is beyond loud and heartbreaking. Her missing voice and smile and laughter devastates me every single second. 8 months...

9 months ago I thought I was the luckiest person on earth. I was happy. I had happy, healthy kids who were beyond amazing and a husband who always brought a smile to my face. And then one phone call... one phone call put me in my place... one phone call changed everything. And all I want is my girl.

I think I’ve talked about Mary Tyler Moore before but she has always been one of my favorite celebrity activists. And Jordyn agreed. She portrayed her in her Impactful People Wax Museum in 7th grade. Standing up for equal pay for women, Mary inspired Jordyn to fight for what is right, not because it is fair, but because it is just how it should be.

I’ve been watching the Mary Tyler Moore Show nightly “with” Jordyn. We are nearing the end of the third season and every night I hear the theme song written by Sony Curtis. “Who can turn the world on with her smile, Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile, Well it’s you girl and you should know it...” and every night, I answer those questions with “Jordyn” and then I think about the song and the role MTM plays and then I think about the Rhoda/Mary relationship (so many similarities to Jay and one of her besties) and then I think of the episodes where she is able to make a statement about gender equality and then the moments where that is all back seated... and it is just a show that we are so lucky was created. I don’t know where I was going with this entirely but I suppose it was what was on my mind, so I thought I would share.

“You’re gonna make it after all”

#stronglikeJ #dosomethingbig #forher #mygirl #standupforwhatisright#bebetter
#33jordynstrong #marytylermoore

Update 7/31/2021: Sometime in 2020, I finished the series. Watching each and every episode in order from the comfort of my Jordyn’s room and talking and laughing with her about the bad parties, the crazy antics of Ted Baxter, the visits from Rhoda’s mom, and in the end, “It’s a long way to Tipperary, it’s a long way to go. It’s a long way to Tipperary, to the sweetest girl I know.”

Thank You Day:

It is with a thankful heart I reach out to you all today. The worst thing imaginable happened in our lives and I am still struggling daily to find the joy and the calm that I once had in my life. Jordyn was so much to so many but to me, she was everything. She gave me the most important job I have ever had and she gave me a greater purpose than I ever thought I could find... being her mom.

Without her, I don't see things the same and I just can't come to any kind of understanding how this has happened. I started the Foundation selfishly to cling to the feelings my daughter gives me. I want to do good and support others and I want to be there to help in any way I can, but I want my girl by my side so much. Together we are finding a way to make something out of the incredibly crappy hand we were dealt. It isn't easy and I just wish I could erase the last 8 months and try again... find a way.

That said, everyone of you who has dropped a pair of socks in a box, liked a post, wished us well in our endeavors, or who will attend an event or give a donation in the future.... Thank you for allowing me to work through the hope she always makes me feel when I think of her to do something that means something, for her.

Love. Help. Family. Hope. It is the mission we have created in her name. Thank you for being a part of it. 

​#thankyouday
#stronglikeJ #dosomethingbig #forher #33jordynstrong

I think I took for granted all of the success stories. All of the expectation that she was just going to be ok. I worried, of course. But I worried because of her pain or because of what she was having to give up or what she was going to miss. Not that I was going to have to go home without her. I never thought my smart, beautiful, strong, happy, lovely thirteen year old would not see her fourteenth birthday. I trusted her doctors and nurses and I trusted the hospital to keep her safe and to care for her and to fix her so she could grow up.

And they let her down. They let me down. They let her family down. They let her friends down. I know they can’t perform miracles but they should have been able to fix her. They should have handled her symptoms better as they came and they should have protected her better from the infection that took her from us. They should have known better and they should have done better. She deserved better... she deserved their best. They failed her and maybe I did too. Because I didn’t push harder. I didn’t force them to do better - to not give up on her, to keep fighting for her. I didn’t know. I didn’t know that this was going to happen. I didn’t know she was going to get so sick. I thought they had it covered. They told me it was routine. They told me it was common. They told me they have been doing this for decades. They told me she was in good hands. But she wasn’t. And I should have seen it. But I couldn’t see it. I believed with my whole soul that she would be fine. That she would win. That she was going to be down but not out. I didn’t sit back. I was involved and I was there and I pushed and asked questions and I tried to get them to do more but I didn’t, I guess, fight hard enough.

And I don’t know how I will ever forgive myself. I don’t know how I will ever forget that I pushed and pushed and it wasn’t enough. She deserved more from me.

I wish so much she was never diagnosed because she deserved to grow up. I wish so much that she was able to fight because I know she would have won. I wish so much that I had her here next to me because she is my whole world and without her I just cannot find joy. I cannot find how to forgive. I miss her so much.

My girl is my best friend and I am so lonely without her.

This was the Tuesday before she went to the hospital. She needed a photo for an art project in her Advanced Art class. It was a self-portrait. Jared and I must have taken 100 photos of her - hair up, hair down, hands by her face, hands away, smiles, serious, smirks, scrunchy nose, dimples... she just couldn’t decide what she wanted... and as we were doing this, she got frustrated and started uncontrollably crying and didn’t know why. We tried to talk her through it and she just couldn’t verbalize what was bothering her or making her feel so sad. I remember just holding her and being so helpless because I couldn’t figure out how to help her through whatever was going on. She struggled, often enough, with vocalizing her feelings - mostly because feelings aren’t concrete. There isn’t a right way or a wrong way to feel and Jay liked to feel in control. She liked to have a right answer...

I am pretty sure this was after the crying stopped and was the one she intended to use... good amount of freckles, good hair shapes and lines, strong features... She was really excited to do this assignment...

I am finding it harder and harder each day. Her absence just left such a large hole in our lives and I am just struggling without her. I miss her neurotic perfectionism and I miss her commitment to greatness. I miss her seriousness and her silliness. I miss her laugh and her voice. I miss the big moments and I miss the tiny little ones where it was just me and her. I miss my girl.

Today he turns eleven without his hero. Without his sister, who helped make him who he is. The person who pushed him and motivated him and encouraged him. The one who came first and helped him find his way. His heart is so big for his sister and I know he misses her so much always, but a little more today. At least he got a “snow day”... but I sure wish I could bring her back for him... well, for all of us. She is so missed...
​
This awesome boy is why siblings mean so much to the mission. For three weeks he was passed around and shuffled so that his mom and dad could choose his sister over him. So they could be there for her when she needed them. And he didn’t complain for a minute. He knew it was what she needed and what he could do for her. He wanted to be at home but he knew she needed him to be wherever he was. And he didn’t deserve any of that any more than she deserved her illness or anything else she went though.

It happens to them too and they stand alone because that is what we need them to do. They watch their friend, their hero, their playmate get sick and weak and scared... and they go home with sad parents who can’t stop crying. And their whole world changes too and they are the ones left standing and sometimes that is pretty hard too.

So siblings will get socks and siblings will get books and siblings will get gift cards because we see what they do for their sick sibling. It isn’t easy for them either and they are heroes too.

#foreverhishero #theoneswhomakeus #siblings #stronglikeJ#happybirthdayLogan #bebetter #33jordynstrong #dosomethingbig 

I talk to you like you can hear me and maybe you can. I wish for you like that will bring you back and maybe it might. I think of you like I will see you again and maybe I might. I hope for you that you are safe and happy and maybe you are. I miss you like maybe this will all go away and you will be here with me and maybe it will.

I just want to talk with you and hug you and love on you and hear your voice so much... I’d wish for a moment but know that won’t be enough. I was supposed to have 70 more years with you... I wasn’t supposed to have to settle with a moment I know I won’t get. But I am not ok. I miss you. There is a huge hole and I just can’t understand. 💔

I write so I remember and I write so I can be reminded... I don’t feel strong. I still feel like waking up is work. I feel like every day you aren’t here is work. And while I want to be with you so much, I know I am needed here and I know I have to be patient and if I am patient, maybe I will.

Just know I love you so much and will forever wish on every star and in every fountain and on every “11:11” that I will see you again, be with you again... my sweet girl.

I am struggling to find meaning in most things. To find a purpose that is greater than being “busy”. We were a busy family, but we always found time for moments of joy and purpose - not just busy for busy’s sake. A detour, a jam session, a mystery destination, a special treat... she brings so much joy and purpose.

This was a trip to Columbus for a tryout and to watch some friends play ball this summer. Logan didn’t want to go and was able to spend the day with a friend and we trekked to Columbus. Jordyn on her own, without her brother, was special. She opened up more, she laughed more, she was sillier... she was looser.

This tryout was long and tough and she rose, like she often did, and was so impressive. Jared and I just watched in awe of all this little athlete was capable of and not just her ability but her attitude, her ability to talk with the coaches, her care for the other players she had never met before... and she looked so confident. Like she knew she could do it all...

On the way back we stopped to visit family and her favorite pup, Rex, and it was fun as always to hear her recount how things went.

We also discussed an invitation to go back for a team practice with that same team the next day... another 4 hours in the car and a 4 hour practice at the end of July in the heat. She wasn’t sold on the team despite receiving an offer on site so she didn’t want to spend a whole day dedicating more time to this... but she couldn’t tell us that because she knew Jared and I were interested in her playing for this team. Seemed like a good fit for all of us... Jay did what she did and shut down and wouldn’t talk about it.

Jay and I had a notebook that we used when she didn’t want to say it out loud... and when I woke the next day, the notebook was on my nightstand. And she wrote how she didn’t always feel like she got a choice. That I pushed her sometimes and it made her feel like what she wanted didn’t always matter because I would guilt her in to doing what I thought was best. And she knew it was my way of making sure she had the best of everything. It made my heart sad that she felt this way and felt that she didn’t have a choice.

I remember writing back my apologies and telling her that what she wanted absolutely mattered. We always felt that we let the kids lead choices... when they committed we made them stick to it but the initial choice was theirs. But sometimes, as they get older, do the choices they made when they were younger, the things they wanted a year or two years ago, do they still hold up?

Jay loved softball... but she discovered she wanted to be an engineer/programmer and a writer more than she wanted to be a student athlete in college. She wanted to keep up with pitching and hitting lessons so that she could play HS ball but didn’t see things going further than that and for now she just wanted it to be fun again. She had lost some of the fun.

Trips like this... I will miss forever. Not because of ball but because of Jordyn. She made them more fun and now the empty seat behind me is louder than she ever was. I think of the future road trips to other tournaments, to visit colleges, to seek out nature and its wonder, to find awesome ice cream, and to see all of the awesome history and magic that is all around us that she won’t be here to take... She loved these trips. She loved being with her family and being on one of our mystery trips. She often loved the coffee stops as much as the actual adventure itself... she found joy in all of it and it was awesome. And now I look in the rear view mirror and she isn’t there. It breaks my heart all over again that she just isn’t there. I just miss her so much....

I’d give anything to have her back... the messy room, the never being home... or if she wanted to stop it all so she could focus on school, that would be fine too... I would do anything for her. I just want to talk to her and have her talk back, I want to hear her laugh and I want to see her smile, I want to give her a hug and feel that extra Jay squeeze when she hugged back - she gave the best hugs, and I just want to braid her hair and watch her sleep... I just want her here. I want all of this to go away and I want my girl back. I want her in that seat again...

I always believed that the ones you were with at midnight were the ones you'd be with at the the next year end turn... So I asked Jordyn to come home last year before midnight so that she could be with us for midnight. We had a great time - played with confetti guns and made silly boomerangs that made us laugh so hard... And I knew she would be with me again at the start of 2019 because she would be 14 and she just would be. When she got sick, I still knew she would be here.

I am so angry that the treatment that was supposed to cure her took her... I am so angry that those who were supposed to help her couldn't... I am so angry that I was so sure she would be fine that I only focused on the future and told her that it was just a chapter of her story not her story.

Nothing makes this easier and nothing makes me feel like it ever will be. I know people have gone through this and have been able to come through it... but they weren't me and Jay... they weren't us. Nobody can understand our relationship and no one can understand the sadness I am going through without her here. No one can give me the one thing I want and no one can help me understand why she was taken away from me or why she wasn't given the chance to grow up... I don't say this to be rude/ungrateful, it is just my truth.

Your support over the last 3 months has been beyond amazing and I appreciate it so much. I only ever intended to write for myself. Doing it on social opens it up but I just want to remember my feelings and the "memories" from FB will help with that.

So as midnight draws closer, I find myself becoming sadder... I want her to be here with me and I want to know she will be with me next year and the year after and the year after... And part of me wants the clock to strike 12 and for it to be the beginning of 2018 and for her to be here with me once again so that we can figure out a better way or for it to be 2019 and for the last 3 months to have just been a really bad nightmare (as I have wished every night since she was taken away). I know that sounds crazy and I know I sound depressed and I am certain that I am probably both.

Enjoy your New Year, enjoy your loved ones and enjoy every minute of every day. Hug your people closer and do the things when you can. Loving those you love and being able to be loved back is the greatest thing about this life.

​While everyone is posting their 2018 videos from FB, I am so happy to see so many smiling faces and joy.

I am at a loss. The worst thing I could have ever imagined happened in 2018. I struggle with the duality of my feelings though. If I say 2018 was my worst year then I dismiss that 2018 was my last year with my Jordyn... and if I find joy in it, I feel like I dismiss that she won’t be with me for 2019. In 2018 we traveled, we sang, we binged, we laughed, we loved, we learned, we cried, we played, we trained, we delighted, we ate, we celebrated, we were tested, we found friends, we slept, we walked, we swam, we explored, we were encouraged, we were deflated, we were broken down, we were positive, we were hopeful... we did so much, we were together, we were a family.

So 2018... the worst thing I could have imagined happened and I am still so pissed about it and so sad and so heartbroken and so lost. But I had 9 months with my baby girl and they were awesome. They may not have been everyone’s best but they were certainly ours.

J- Dad, Logan, and I have not been great since you left us. We try to hold it together and we try to remind each other that we are there for one another but we miss you. It doesn’t feel the same or right without you here. I cry all the time and when I am not crying I am on the verge. I smile and laugh sometimes but mostly my expression is blank. I feel empty. I feel hopeless. Logan is doing well and seems to be “okay” but he misses you and misses his parents not being sad. And I hate that he has to go through this. I hate that his idol isn’t here to show him the way... Mostly I hate that you aren’t here to be you. You are the most amazing kiddo and what makes me know this is true is that I knew it to be so before you were gone. Mommy glasses aside, I have always known how special you were. I didn’t realize how many lives you impacted until you were gone and I am certain you didn’t know either... you were far too humble to see how awesome you were... another of my favorite things about you... I miss you sweet girl. I wish more than anything we could be together now. I wish you were here. I wish I could go back and fix it. I wish I could go back and find a way. I wish I knew...

Jay... I love you. 😘💕
Love, Mom

33 JordynStrong Foundation was named after Jordyn Myers.  Jordyn was born on December 24, 2004 in Canton, Ohio. From the minute she was born, she was loved so much by her parents, Jared and Lindsey Myers.  As she grew up, you could tell something was special about her.  She was smart and she was creative.  She played well in a group and she played well by herself.  She was kind and she was funny, she was thoughtful of others and she was driven and determined.  She was athletic and she was a voracious reader.  She was an amazing student and she was an awesome friend.  She was exceptionally beautiful because you could see her heart through her eyes.  She just made life that much better.

Jordyn lived in several worlds.  The ones she read about and the ones she listened to on her record player or her iPod.  Books and music… she couldn’t get enough and found her favorites in The Beatles, Elvis Costello, Queen, Green Day, Broadway Musicals, and the Guardians of the Galaxy Mixtapes.  She loved current novels like The Lunar Chronicles Series and The Red Queen Series and classic novels like those written by Agatha Christie.  She often said she was born in the wrong generation… she loved the culture of the sixties, the music of the nineties, and the crazy colors of the eighties.  She loved to watch old movies and often delighted in showing off her finds to her friends, The Princess Bride, My Fair Lady, Labyrinth, and the original Stephen Kind’s IT, to name a few.   When it came to television, she loved shows with unique characters and quirky plot lines, Gilmore Girls, Friends, Once Upon a Time, and New Girl come to mind as some of her favorites.  She was one of a kind and liked shows that celebrated that everyone isn’t the same.  She loved school and often found it difficult to sleep before the first day of classes because she was so anxious to get started.  She was involved in the school newspaper, she was a peer tutor, she ran Cross Country, she was in the Choir, and she was elected as one of three 6th grade students to the Principal’s Advisory Council (chosen by her teachers).  School was a happy place - knowledge, books, and friends… what could be better.

Talking to Jordyn for a few minutes, you easily forgot that she was only 13 years old.  Her mind, her interests, and her motivations were far more mature than her years.  

Her dream was to go to Yale and she looked forward to being an engineer and a writer one day.  She wrote beautiful stories and poetry.  She has penned a short novel, a short story, and over 30 poems.  Her insight to the world is inspiring.   She was a talented artist as well.  Not any people have a creative side and a scientific side but Jordyn did.  In addition to this creative side, she still enjoyed math and science and wanted to work to make the future better.  She was teaching herself how to write code so that she could program apps to make life better.  

Jordyn loved to play softball and pretty much did, year around, from the time she was 8.  She always wore #33 on her back.  She was a beast on the field… one of the strongest and toughest third basemen in our area.  She was a talented pitcher as well although her true love was the corner.  She was so small in size, she blew people away with all that could come out of her little body.  It was so fun to watch her play.  She was an incredible teammate and knew that a great player plays for the good of the team and not the good of themselves.  She was encouraging and supportive and her teammates knew, “Jay” had their backs.  

She could do it all and she was going to, of that there is no doubt… that was just who she was.    

Jordyn’s understanding of compassion was far beyond her years.  She was an amazing friend and knew just how to make you feel better when you were sad or frustrated.  She knew how to let you know that you were special and special to her, specifically.  Her kindness was awesome.  Her insight in to the world helped her to see that mistakes made while trying your best were simply stepping stones to help you get better.  She knew that hard work, motivation, passion, and commitment were things that couldn’t be taught and she had them in spades.  

She was just an awesome human being.  She had so much ahead of her…